Sunday, April 10, 2011

3am at the border

There is something beautiful about connecting with a stranger at 3 in the morning. I felt happily lucky to be one of those passengers on a long bus ride that actually enjoyed the stranger sitting next to them. First names were exchanged and no last names were exchanged. I didn’t know how to get to that point nor was I sure what I would have wanted to do with it. Partly too was I was a little scared to make him a friend in the future because I wasn’t sure if future moments with each other would be just as spontaneously good. Pursuing a friendship would feel a little too real and too much like work and frankly, I didn’t have a taste for work at 3 in the morning. Is that silly? Maybe. But I guess I’m being honest.

Our night ended with long-held gazes and smiles that probably meant we enjoyed each other’s company. He said my name again as he said good-bye, slowly getting up out of his seat, and there was a pause where we weren’t too sure if we should leave each other at that or actually take each other up on this little 3am connection. But I didn’t say anything and I returned his goodbye and “it was nice to meet you” with another smile and I let him get off to his stop.

I could have risen up out of my seat to join him at the station for a while longer as my bus was going to sit idle for the next 30 minutes. I’m sure we would have enjoyed more laughs if I did leave with him. But I didn’t get up and I stayed. And I was fine with it. I was fine with not having to chase after someone or hold on to something good when I find it (like I usually am in the habit to do). It may have been worth the chase, I’m sure, but I happily didn’t care to know. :)

1 comment:

  1. hey girl,
    girl..
    this happened to me once on the train.
    this beautiful man with beautiful lips (for real) commented on a card i was drawing for my friend's bday. the front had lotus petals and graf on it.
    he told me about how he was a part of trying to initiate an art community amongst youth. we vibed in silence and little words. he told me he had native, african, and spanish in him. i dont know... i saw him once again in passing.
    and yeh, we walked otu the train together and said goodbye and i kinda wished i got his number or somethinggg, but i let it flow and felt it out.
    it was grand.
    i needed to hear about your life man. i'm thirsty for donnaness and i'm also so tired. i'm lyin here on my bed gettin ready to head to rhizome cafe where i will share music. i'm so tired donna. i'm tired of playing roles and being a character. i'm tired of the noise in my life. i'm tired of my body being a cage working against me. i'm literally tired and want to dream and figure myself out from my subconscious. i want to release through letting these repressed things release.

    i finally dropped justine's shoes off...the ones i wore at the club with you and ur friends on granville. and ziya, justine, their new roommate and i talked about how much we missed u and how we plan to skype you.
    gawd. i miss being around you.
    - kim

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