if we had decided to take a chance

I wonder
If you ever could have loved me
enough to wait
If you ever could have loved me for my beliefs
when I stand for the very same things
you abhor
Or if you ever could have loved me
for my wide-eyed insecurities and chronic naivete
idealism
and stupid need to be liked

Or if I could have ever loved you
for your lack of ambition
your sky-high walls of defense and cynicism
and your stupid need to hurt and test
those who love you so easily

Yet instead we sit here in chronic chemistry
with our ease to draw laughter from one another
and easier still is that we don’t have to wonder
since the time you went and wandered
to find salvation in some other’s
arms
that you hope will call you home

in 5 years meet me in Paris

we're tripping down dundas st. west, swaying to either booze in our muscles or music in our head and we're just chatting ourselves away. complain about how canadian guys don't seem to have much initiative and i don't-know-how-the-fuck-anybody-meets-anybody-else-inthis-damn-city-anymore kind of conversations. it almost doesn't matter coz we're quite happy where we are, we're just complaining. we're hopeful yet just complaining. love still exists we know it. we just don't believe in those movies so much anymore, that's all.

apparently we're supposed to meet in Paris five years from now, at the eiffel tower and partnered with our significant others, sipping on some "chamPAG-NEE" as I'd like to call it oh-so-tastefully. it sounds like a ridiculous dream right now but it sounds like a plan. and in that plan, I hear the panic and the hope of the twenty-something-year-old's that we are: single and happy, but slightly hungry to find something substantial that we can hold on to.

i tell her that five years from now i will remind her of this night where we were those wide-eyed and bordering-on-pathetic-girls who strutted a street wondering where-the-fuck-we'll-find-our-men. and i tell her we'll laugh and never let others know how desperate we were. (what i don't tell her is how much i enjoy these nights regardless. what i also don't tell her is how quite alright i am with this dichotomy of hope and panic. i've found love before, so i live in the truth that i'll find it again - and until then, i enjoy these nights.)

guess i gotta save up for paris. :)

A/C wars with the new roommate...

it's blazing hot outside and a sauna inside and she says she's freezing. i told her she's the only one who's complained EVER about it being too cold inside this rat-hole of a house. i watched her patter her way down the stairs and stoop over the A/C buttons to raise the temperature, smile meekly at me and then scamper up to her room like some unwanted pest I wanted to step on.

if it's so fucking cold then put a fucking sweater on...